Dear Mom of Little Ones

An Open Letter for the Mom of Little Ones

I watch you and see that you feel overwhelmed. Being a mom to little ones can be hard, exhausting work. I know sometimes it feels as if you’ll never sleep again. I understand that you often feel alone, as if, no one truly understands how it feels. I perceive that you never imagined that this is what the day in and day out of parenting looks like. 

I know sometimes you cry because you spend an entire day singing toddler songs from Disney or Nick Jr. over and over and over and over again, and again. I know you would like to have an adult conversation and, I know that you can’t wait for the moment when your husband comes home so you can breathe. Even in that moment, things don’t go the way you anticipate and your heart just crumbles, every single day. 

I know that when the phone rings you have an internal debate about whether to answer it. On the one hand, it might be a chance to have an adult conversation with a dear friend. While on the other hand the fallout of giving your attention to someone else, besides the kids, might be a headache from the noise level that increases ten fold while you are on the phone. Or it might mean doubling or tripling your work, because while your attention is divided the laundry that you just folded might end up being the “balls” used in the laundry basket ball game, the wet mop might become the horse and pony show and the laundry basket might end up being the sled used on the stairs just to see if it will work. 

I know sometimes you wish you had just 5 minutes to go to the bathroom without little tears, screaming and pounding on the door. A shower would be nice too, wouldn’t it? But, it’s just easier to go to the bathroom with little ones staring at you. It’s simply easier to forgo the shower, put your hair in a pony, and who cares if there is throw up on your shirt? Who really cares? Except, you do, down in your heart, don’t you?

Speaking of throw up… It’s super hard isn’t it, to clean up carpet that has vomit all over it. The smell! Oh the smell, how are you supposed to NOT throw up, while cleaning up? But you do. Because you love. And smells… well, how many diapers do you have to change? Seriously? When will that toddler ever potty train? You wonder, don’t you?, if it will ever, ever happen. 

I understand the fear that exists when you wonder in your heart if it’s ok to go put away a load of towels because when you get back downstairs, what might have been destroyed. You consider carefully what time of the day you will start dinner, because when your back is turned, what will child #1 do to child #2, and will it end up in a trip to the E.R.. 

Oh and accidents, I mean, how many times can a kid hit their head without causing brain damage? When will the old lady across the street finally call children’s services because you let the kid fall off the Big Wheel, again, and this time, they hit their head and it was bleeding a lot. 

I see you sitting in worship. I know in your heart you want to be focused on giving praise and adoration to the Father, but the reality is you are simply trying to keep the kids quiet. You’re afraid of what other people are thinking, you’re worried that you’re causing a scene. Did that Cheerio just end up in Mrs. Smith’s hair?!? Oh No! Isn’t that what is going on in that pew, that you are hoping no one is noticing.

I’m not noticing. Really. I’m seeing you, because I once was you. It wasn’t long ago, just yesterday really, that I had a little one, who drew a large mural of blue permanent marker across 4 walls in a variety of patterns in the five minutes it took me to put away a load of clothes. It was I who saw a Cheerio land in a lady’s hairdo while sitting in worship. I longed to go to the bathroom, alone, and take a shower without fear of what would happen in my absence. I’m the mom who fell asleep on the couch from exhaustion while the Little Einsteins hummed Beethoven in the background. And, yes, it was me that someone called children’s services about because my child had one too many boo boos, in their opinion. 

But, what I’ve learned is that children are curious creatures. They are like sponges absorbing everything they see and hear. They are also delicate souls who need your nurturing heart to gently lead, guide and love them. They are also trying everything to see what happens, not understanding the consequences of what might actually happen. 

I’ve learned that this too shall pass. There will come a moment when you will realize that you can no longer pick up your child and hold him, and you’ll struggle to remember the last time that you did. There will come, soon, a time when you will look your child in the eye, while standing solidly on two feet and he is the same height as you, then you’ll long for the day when you had to squat down to do the same. There will be a day when you will long for story time in the rocking chair, and just one more song at bedtime because he looks at you like your crazy the next time you sing… “Your a handsome little boy…”

No, you never dreamed that parenthood really looked like this every single day. You didn’t imagine just how hard it would be. But, this is your life, this is your moment to be the best mama that you can to the little ones. They are looking to you for love, approval, patience and acceptance. They are looking to you for love. You hold their hearts in the palm of your hand.

In a few short years these years will be behind you. You’ll miss them, truly you will, even if you can’t see it now. You will want to rock just one more time, you’ll want to sleep next to them, just one more time, you’ll want to hold a hand as they cross the street, once again. But the moment will be passed and you’ll find yourself longing. 

So today, I see you, and I long to be in that moment you’re in again. Would I do anything differently? Maybe. But then again, if I’m in the moment again, I wouldn’t know what I know now, and any change might lead me to something different, something unknown. So instead, I look back and am thankful for each moment I experienced as a mom. Each one, led to this day .

This child that I have now is who he is because of moments lived a few years ago and I’m thankful because, I like my kid. I really, really do.

One day soon, you’ll look at your child and really see them. You will remember the little one, they once were, and all of the struggle will be forgotten and you’ll discover that you, too, really like the child your child has become. {Tweet That} So take a deep breath, find joy in the smiles on our child’s face and know you are doing a great job.