Tips for Wives to Bring Him Out of His Shell
What’s a girl to do when she needs attention from her man and he wants to be left alone. Well for me… I started a blog. Just kidding, only slightly.
But, what is a girl to do when her husbands a loner?
The first thing would be to remember what it was about him that attracted you to him in the first place. Was he the strong, but silent, type? Did that seem mysterious? Was that exiting?
Only you know what it was that drew you to him in the first place.
He is the same man. Maybe you thought he’d change. Maybe, you thought you could change him.
But we can’t change another person, we can only change how we respond, how we act and react to that person. This includes our husbands.
I’m sharing 5 tips that have worked for me. I’m no expert, but I am a wife of more than 25 years whose learned how to live with, in love, a husband who prefers to have time alone.
At the same time, he’s learned how to be a loving, giving, and caring spouse. But, we’ve had to learn to meet each other part-way from time to time.
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5 Tips for Helping Your Loner Husband Come Out of His Shell
▬ Well the first thing she has to do is to tell him she needs to spend time with him.
Open and honest communication is always best in marriage. Remember ladies, he can’t read your mind. I know, shocking right? If you want him to know what you are thinking then you have to tell him.
Your husband loves you and wants to please you, but often doesn’t know the right time or the right way to do this, so you have to share with him the things that you need and that includes the times when you need to spend time with him.
▬ Do something special for him.
I don’t mean something for the 2 of you. I mean, do something that is totally for him. Let him know you are thinking about him and want to make him feel special. Perhaps it’s a gift that he’s been eyeing for a while.
Perhaps it is a ticket to a sporting event, or 2, for he and a friend. Send a bag of M&M’s to him at work. The goal is to show him you care for him. In return you may find that he takes notice of you again.
This is the hardest for me. I want to spend as much time as I can with Beloved. But, I know that he needs time alone.
I know that sometimes he just needs to go into his own space, do his own thing, and not be bothered. I try, really I do. But then again, sometimes I sneak in just to give him a kiss, then I leave again.
▬ Schedule time for him and the children to have time together away from you.
Remember that dad’s need to develop relationships with their children also. Let him take your daughter on a date. Book him tickets to your son’s favorite motor sport. Send all of them to dinner without you.
Order a pizza and you leave the house and remind him that this is their time to bond. Otherwise, you’ll come home and find they’ve gone to separate corners.
▬ Don’t let him get into such an introverted place that he loses himself there for weeks or even months on end.
This can happen. But remember, you are his wife. You were made to be his help-mate. This is an area where he will need your help the most. God never intended for humans to be alone.
He created woman specifically for the man so that he wouldn’t be alone. Being alone too much leads to depression. We’ve seen this over and over again in our society.
If the time comes when you look around and realize you haven’t really talked to your man, or you haven’t spent very much time together. Or, perhaps you haven’t seen his face in a few days, (GASP). Then it’s time to make some plans.
Plans for Helping Your Loner to Get Out of His Shell
- Get out your calendar, call a sitter and schedule a date night.
- Make a special dinner, for the entire family, one that requires real plates and silverware.
- Have a game night, either just the 2 of you or for the family.
- Invite a friend couple over for a meal.
- Book a golf outing for he and a buddy.
- You’re Singing My Song – Glen & Cindy Colley
- 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband – Pam Farrell
- Bringing Out the Best in Your Husband – H. Norman Wright