Panic

Do you ever just panic about your home-school? Do you ever think, ‘Am I doing enough to ensure that my child is getting the best well rounded education?’ or ‘What if I completely fail and then it’s too late.’ I had that moment yesterday. It came quite by surprise. I wasn’t expecting it because I am sure that home-education is the best and right choice for my child.

He’s been reading ‘The Adventures of Tom Sawyer’ yesterday he made it to chapter 6. Then I asked him about what he read and I get, “I don’t know.” Upon continued prompting he says, “I can’t remember.” So I sent him back to re-read the days assignment. Again, when asked what he read his response is “I can’t remember.” After much discussion with dad, some research and just some general observation, I’ve come to realize that he likes the book, but the material is too difficult for his maturity level. So it’s back to the proverbial drawing board for finding reading materials that both interests him and challenges his mind. This is constantly my struggle… More Research forthcoming.

Upon further discussion it seems that this occurrence isn’t isolated to reading but other subjects as well. He couldn’t recall a single subjects material for the entire school day yesterday. So I end up feeling like a big failure. I wonder now how often he has just “gotten done” so he could go play. The last thing I want is for him to be wrapped up everyday in busy work. I want him to learn! I want him to build upon skill levels so that when he reaches adulthood he will be well prepared for what is before him.

Later in the evening we went through some additional struggles of open defiance with dad. We learned that he feels, little man that is, feels that he is in charge of what we do in our house. He tried to tell dad what’s what. He tried to show me who’s in charge. Now our dear little man has to ask permission for EVERYTHING. This is an important lesson for him to learn because if he doesn’t learn now to submit to the authority of his dad, then I fear for his future, not just his earthly one, after all as adults we often must submit to the authority of others, from the legal and governing authorities to our bosses and spouses, but all the more he must learn to submit to his Godly Father. Failure to do so will lead to eternal consequences.