To Love, Honor, Cherish and Obey

I remember when we were going through our marriage counseling sessions with Brother Daniels before the wedding, he asked me if I wanted to use the word obey in my vows. I remember thinking, oh that’s not an easy one. But I knew it was the right one. I would venture that it is not used often today.

I recently wrote an article on submission at the R16:16 blog regarding the word Submission and that it is a command. It may not be an easy command but it is a command nonetheless.

Many may think that by submitting I am giving up something. I might be. But the reality is everyone submits to someone, or something in their lives. Without submission we would have chaos. As citizens we submit to government authority. As employees we submit to a bosses authority. Students submit to the authority of a teacher, principal, professor, dean and others.

Yet for some reason the use of the word in marriage causes fear and struggle. I know that the burden of being a leader is greater than the one submitting to obedience. I know that to love as Christ loved the church is a heavier responsibility given to the husband than the command given to wives to submit and respect.

Do I look back now with 22 years of marital experience and regret that vow? No, in fact, the longer I’m married the more I come to realize just how right it is. Becuase if he loves me, he will only want what is best for me, he listens to my needs, and leads our family in a way that best meets those needs. He loves me, it’s as simple and complex as that.

So for me, I strive to obey as a part of the honor, the cherish, and the love that I also vowed to do. They are all united, just as my husband and I are united. We are bonded in matrimony and as Jesus said, “What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”  Mark 10:9.

This is my marriage moment. Happy Anniversary to my Beloved, I long to spend another 22+ years by your side.