Marriage Moment: Symbol of Love | Renée at Great Peace

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This symbol of love starts out with the excitement of anticipation. Every girl, at least every girl I know, dreams of the day when her guy drops to one knee and declares his love for her by asking her to marry him. It is dreamed of for years before the guy is ever found.

It is the stuff of fairy tales and at the center of the story is the ring, the engagement ring. For some girls, it’s about how big the stone is, or how valuable the piece is.

That isn’t true for all girls though. For me, I was simply thankful that the man I loved also loved me and that he took the time to find what he felt was the perfect ring to show me his love. He did his research! He met with a private jeweler and chose a tastefully simple solitaire diamond.

See the picture? This was taken on our 20th anniversary. It shows the age of our hands 20 years after our wedding. I see the lines, the wear, the changes that have taken place in those years. I also see the diamond ring that he gave me when we got engaged.

Note: This post has been recently updated, the storm and event mentioned below happened in 2012.

We had a huge storm here in Ohio this past Friday evening. Winds up to 85 miles an hour. Trees were knocked down, power was knocked out. Our home was without power for about 38 hours. Sunday afternoon after power was restored I spent some time cleaning out a refrigerator. Later, we were driving to evening worship service and I looked down to discover that my diamond was missing from my engagement ring.

I had that OOOOH N0 moment. Then, when Beloved looked and saw it, I got really quiet. He asked a couple questions, I can’t really tell you what he asked because I really can’t remember. I think, he too realized that I probably lost it while cleaning. But, I just couldn’t answer him. I just shook my head and was quiet – really quiet. If you know me, you know I’m not usually a quiet person.

Quiet for me comes when I am extremely sad. I was thinking, ‘it’s just a thing, it doesn’t matter, my husband loves me, our marriage is not about this ring…’ BUT my heart was saying ‘but, He gave it to me. He lovingly chose it for me. He took the time to find just the right, just the perfect stone for ME. It has been on my finger for over 20 years! It is a part of me! I love it, because I love him. How can I possibly be ok without my beautiful diamond that he gave to me to show me and the world that he loves me?’

And, as I was thinking and feeling all of these things, I started to cry, silently. In fact, just now as I am typing this, tears are coming to my eyes.

How an Object can be a Symbol of Love

It’s silly really. I think I am generally a very practical person. I know without a doubt that relationships are far more important than things. But this THING is a symbol of love, our love. It was the first showing to the world that my Beloved, loves Me.

My heart was breaking. After worship we came back home, the search began. My fear? I had dumped the water from the cleaning bucket into the toilet, and flushed it. I really thought that I had flushed away the stone. I checked the floor near the fridge and shining like a sparkly star, lay my beautiful perfect stone. It isn’t large by anyone’s imagination. It is a simple 1/3 carat diamond, given to me by my Beloved man. As soon as I found it, my heart rejoiced, my spirit lifted and I felt refreshed. What was lost has now been found.

The Right to Wear the Symbol of Love

I got to thinking though. I thought about how upset I was over a thing. How I tried really hard to be ok, but inside I was breaking. When someone makes the choice to leave a marriage they are giving up their right to wear that symbol of love. I can’t imagine willingly letting go of either, the symbol or the marriage.

Marriage is HARD work.

It is giving of yourself for the good of another.

It is living in peace through the worse, realizing that love works through those moments too.
It takes work from both the husband and the wife. But, it is worth the effort.

Why? You learn over time that when you get past yourself and find the moments when your marriage is about the duality of your life, that the two are one, that you realize that whatever you do for his good, becomes for your own good as well.

There is beauty in that oneness, in the companionship, in the reaching for a hand to clasp and without a word knowing that you both are feeling the very same thing at the very same moment. That, is why it is worth it.

Slipping that ring back on my finger after having it repaired brought muchh peace to my heart. It’s not the symbol that makes our love. It’s the way we are with each other. But, the symbol is a reminder of that love.