His Grace is Sufficient for Me | Great Peace Living

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I often turn to scripture as a means to guide me through different parts of my life. Sometimes, without it being a deliberate choice a passage stands out to me and becomes my touchstone for my daily life. It can stand as that guide for a few weeks or a month, or it can last for a year or more.

I think one has come up again.

In this passages the Apostle Paul is referring to what he called “A thorn in the flesh.” No one knows for sure what physical struggle he meant by that. There are many who speculate, but that is not the purpose of this post.

Rather, this post is one where I share a truth about my life with you. I don’t share this often, in fact I keep it to myself except for those most close to me. It’s not that I want to live a lie, it’s that I don’t want to complain, I don’t want to be a bother to anyone. I don’t want this to define me as a person.

So here’s the truth, I live with chronic pain. Following several abdominal surgeries, I developed pain. It’s with me all the time; 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Sometimes the pain is worse than at other times, sometimes it’s debilitating. Sometimes it is just a minor annoyance that only those closest to me can perceive when they see me cringe just slightly at the ache from within. But the truth is behind the usual smile, lies deep pain, physical, real, chronic, pain.

The doctors… well I have to be honest here. I’ve given up on doctors, several of them, as best as they can guess, after many tests, poking and prodding , is that I am suffering from nerve damage. Little can be done for this type of nerve damage. I tried chiropractic care, massage, traction, etc., without much success. Too much activity seems to exacerbate the issue, so I was told to stop excercising. I was told that my choices are: Pain management specialist, which means either living on pain meds or nerve blocks, which won’t work for very long, or, live with. I chose the latter, which is why I try not to complain.

This week has been a particularly bad week. I spent nearly an entire day in bed, probably should have spent 3 in bed. When suddenly this verse stands out to me. Like Paul, I have asked for this ‘thorn’ to be removed, yet it remains. Perhaps it is to temper my heart to rely on Him. Perhaps it is to allow His power to be made perfect in my weakness. Perhaps it is to buffet my spirit to focus on Him. It matters not the reason why…

This verse teaches me to not hide in my pain, but rather to boast in it so that His power is revealed in me. In Christ Alone!

Renée