Let’s face it. Over time, the excitement in your marriage can wane. During, those first few months and perhaps even the first couple of years marriage is exciting, fresh, and new. But, passion can ebb and flow. So, how do you keep the excitement in your marriage long-term?
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This month, Beloved and I celebrated 27 years of marriage. We’ve always believed that marriage is long-term. So, we’re in it until… death do us part.
But we don’t want our marriage to be a lifeless, boring existence. We don’t want it full of bitterness and regrets. We want to truly be each other’s best friend. We want to build memories, joys, and one-day look back and realize we’ve enjoyed our life together while doing our part to serve and love, God and our fellow man.
And, we certainly don’t want the passion to die down because we’ve gotten, ahem, older.
As we get older, our bodies change, our hormones change, our needs change. We discover new interests, our jobs might evolve, and we might discover the person we once were is a mere shadow of the person we become.
That doesn’t mean love has to die. It doesn’t mean that the excitement of your marriage has to take a back burner to the person you’ve, or they’ve grown into.
The best thing about marriage is you can grow and adapt WITH EACH OTHER. As you come to know one another more fully you’ll find that you become better equipped to support your individual goals, and interests.
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The Importance of Building Excitement in your Marriage
It is important that as spouses you take some basic steps to infuse your relationships with a bit of excitement. The very basic of which is being willing to listen to each other.
Listening requires being actively participating in conversations. It’s not just a matter of hearing what the other one is saying, but it takes putting thought and effort into listening with intention.
That basic skill isn’t always easy because we often, especially women, let emotions cloud our thoughts.
But, when you share with each other your hopes, worries, interests, and sorrows with each other you can both work together to find ways to adapt to any particular situation you may find yourself in.
Once spouses have a good working understanding of each other’s needs, you can work together to find exciting ways to keep the marriage flame alive.
Maybe, it’s because he knows you so well he can plan the perfect date night twice a year.
Or, you know when he’s stressed at work, so you plan and book a monthly massage for him to help him relax.
Staying in-tune to each other will help you both grow into that abiding love that you crave.
5 Ways to Infuse Excitement into Your Marriage
1- Explore Separate Interests
Having separate interests means you will each have independent experiences. When you each do things that the other isn’t involved in you’ll find yourself excited to share the details with each other.
This isn’t as easy as it sounds. You may not understand his need to watch all things sports, and you might even find it boring. But, knowing that he has such interests means you can give him the room to explore his passion while listening to him as he tells you how exciting the game was.
He’ll appreciate your attention.
Remember, that you cannot have anything interesting to say if you spend every waking moment doing and experiencing the same things. Independent interests allow you something unique to bring to your conversations.
2- Remember Spontaneity
One of the best things about dating is having a bit of the unexpected from time to time. When you first meet, you don’t really know what the other is thinking. And thus, there is a bit of excitement as you get to know each other.
But, that excitement doesn’t have to end just because you have been married for a long period of time. As we grow more and more comfortable in our relationships and life’s gets busy with responsibilities, we have a tendency to rely upon the strength of our relationships and can fall into the same old same old of life trap.
That means it’s time to mix things up and do something spontaneous.
Try a new, to you, restaurant. Explore your hometown as if you were a tourist. Take a walk in a park you’ve always heard of but never visited.
Go to that movie your spouse has been dying to see a try.
The point is, do something unexpected and create some Spontaneity.
Want more ideas for something spontaneous? Try these Marriage Date Night Ideas.
3- Add a Little Spice to Your Life
In cooking, you can mix up a recipe by changing or adding a little spice. Every now and then you have to make a change. Adding a little unexpected fun can add a bit of spice to the relationship.
This might mean a change to your appearance. It could be that you decide to look for a job in a new location to relocate. Or, it can be something simple.
- Get tickets to a concert.
- Book a dance lesson, or two.
- Taste a dish from a foreign country.
- Take a cooking class together.
- Join a book club together.
Treating yourselves from time to time can add a bit of excitement to your marriage.
4- Mix Up Your Texts
Husbands and wives text each other all the time. But, let’s be honest. Discussing your kid’s upcoming dentist appointment isn’t very exciting is it?
How about instead you send him a text reminding him of how much you enjoy being in his arms. Or, text and tell him how much you love kissing him. You get the idea. Adding a bit of excitement to your texting from time to time can ignite a bit more passion in your marriage.
5- Take a Weekend Trip
This is a sure-fire way to infuse some romance into your marriage, take a mini-vacation! Leave the kids at home and get away for a weekend just the two of you.
We all know that with kids around vacation often takes a backseat to more pressing needs. That’s why a low-cost trip can be just the right thing for the two of you to reconnect. Which adds that bit of excitement, and dare I say passion, back into your marriage.
Check out my 5 Ideas for a Low-cost get away for couples.
Maybe, opt for a one or two night local or nearby vacation.
Plan a dinner and evening out at a nearby town, and without even telling him until it’s time, top the night off with a night in a hotel.
Valid on stays between now and 10/31/19.
The expense isn’t a lot and will be totally worth the excitement a little weekend getaway can bring into your relationship.
When you think about keeping excitement in your marriage it’s easy to think it’s going to get expensive. But, it doesn’t have to. with a little creative thinking you can build excitement while keeping the costs low. You just have to be willing to do a little prep work.
What ways are you adding a bit of excitement to your marriage? Share your tips and tricks with me and others in the comments below.
Want more ideas for keeping romance in your marriage? Check these out: